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Random Machinery (trailer for "Spleen II")

from Spleen II by Marlon Dean Clift

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lyrics

"I can't recall how it was to have hopes, to be liked by someone, to be loved, and I don't think I like myself anymore. But that would be the cheap answer.

We don't even like ourselves and still we try so hard to find people to like, and we try so hard to be liked by others. It's all about synapses, chance, emotions. All mixed up. It's like random machinery.

So, let me tell you, that is not love.

That is not the thing that fuels my life and my thought. It doesn't fuel my reason, it doesn't fuel the way I fuck or the way I hate because that's not real. But we, we were real. We knew who we were, we knew what we were looking for.

You and this guy? That's not real. He's just playing make-believe, just like you do. He thinks of himself as some intellectual, some creator, some insightful man, but he isn't. He's just trying too hard to be what he will never be, and maybe you're doing the same thing.

Therefore...

Perhaps I never loved you.

But something in me tells me I really did.

I loved you.

And I still do.

And there's a part of you which still does."

credits

from Spleen II, released December 6, 2013

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Marlon Dean Clift The Netherlands

The style of a woman, the kiss of a man.

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